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What are limiting beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are those deep ingrained beliefs that we all have, you know the ones that tell us “You can’t have love in your life, you are just going to be single for ever” or You are fat and that’s just how you were born” or “No, you can’t be the CEO of this company, you are not smart enough” or “Everyone in this family goes to university because that’s just what we do” and on and on it goes. You can swear blind that these beliefs are true and at the end of the day, you’ve told yourself so many times that eventually that indeed become truth. Those around you (your partner, your parents, your friends) may also influence these beliefs. Unless we truly decided what we want to believe in, then we will forever be stuck between our true happiness and these beliefs. Powerful huh?
Why limiting beliefs suck the life right outta you?
Well there, pretty lady, how on earth do you except to grow and flourish with these limiting beliefs on ya back, hey? First and foremost we have to acknowledge these things actually exist. Get yourself a pen and jot down all the limiting beliefs you have going on in your life right now…..
Ok, so that list might be long, it might be short but whatever is in that list understand that they will not go away if you don’t stamp on them and eradicate them. Get ready!
How to squash those limiting beliefs you have in your life
You’ve got your list in front of you and now is the time to verbally squash those thoughts. Out loud (in a big strong voice now) “I am not defined by these limiting beliefs and I am greater than all of these beliefs. I deserve success (or to be happy/healthy/married/lean & strong/pretty etc)”. By all means, go through each one if you like and repeat that phrase.
Now you can’t except what seems like a hocus pocus phrase to just work instantly, right? No, no no! You’ll have to make an EFFORT each day to start actively choosing to change these beliefs and repeating your “I deserve success (or to be happy/healthy/married/lean & strong/pretty etc)”. If we look at a weight lossy one: rather than the typical “I’m a fatso”. Replace those thoughts with I have fat, I am not fat. Being fat doesn’t define who am I.
The next step is actioning to move forward from this limiting beliefs. You’ve got to go that extra mile to change these beliefs. Get out there and start exercising, join an outdoor fitness group, get a trainer, go for a walk, buy health fresh food, drink more water and so on.
Understand the belief, actively change the belief, create a new belief. When you feel good about your new found belief, move on and create some more. The power is in your hands and mind.
Understanding your glass ceiling and breaking it through it
The glass ceiling refers to that special club, the one at the top. With the successful big wigs, the “beautiful” people, the chicks with beautiful clothes and nice cars, The “skinny bitches”, The CEO and so on. We all have different perceptions of the glass ceiling, I believe, and so we should. What is important to some is completely irrelevant to others. You need to be prepared for when you break through the glass ceiling (what will happen/how will it feel etc). It’s on par with athletes who practice visualisation techniques for their chosen sport.
Another section about beliefs is we set ourselves up to believe that once we are in our belief “structure” that’s where we stay and if by some weird “miracle’ we burst through it we can’t possibly stay in “success land” because we just won’t fit in or everyone will know we are some kind of fraud. Sound familiar? Well, you know what? It’s complete bullshit, yep BS! A real common one I see every day with women is their dress size. So they lose weight, they go from a 14 to a 10. 9/10 of these women will say “Ooooooh but I probably won’t be able to maintain this weight/size. I’ll just yo-yo up again!”. Helllllo! Talk about limiting belief, lady. Why on earth can’t you maintain it? Didn’t you just work your freaking ass off to get there and now, what you’re saying is, you can’t maintain it? See the weird logic? And funnily enough, we do it to ourselves ALL. THE. TIME.
Please stop. Simple. Don’t do it. Actively set out to stop bringing yourself down. Here’s what I recommend:
1. Take initiative and step up
2. Go beyond your limits even if you suck, just try. Do this regularly. What’s the point in coasting by in life?
3. You don’t have to tell people about what you are doing, sometimes it’s easier this way. Go about it in stealth mode…..and then gloat later LOL
4. Learn to control your emotions and think rationally.
5. Think about the WHOLE process of achieving your goals. If you’ve followed through on this process once you get to end result, you’ve kind of practiced the outcome. I am a realist so I always provide myself with two outcomes but I always focus on the positive
6. Surround yourself with bright shiny diamonds…I mean people! What is the point of life if you are surrounded day in and day out with negative Nancy’s?
7. Less thinking and more doing. Self explanatory
Self help in the city
I managed to change my life for the better and you know what is wasn’t because I’m some motivational genius or because I’m a “really strong person”. I mean, that’s definitely got something to do with it (haha) but really in all honesty, I’ve always believed that I was and I AM destined to do something amazing with my life. Something big! I am an extremely resilient individual and very determined and the triple threat: hard working. Even when I was in my “feeling sorry for myself/former fat girl/life is so blah/I’m kinda lost days” I still knew I had to get outta this head space. It felt terrible and painful and scary but with every fibre of my being, I just tried to keep my head up. How very Tupac of me, I know! Transforming my body was the catalyst to so many other things around me and that’s why I believe a lot of women’s problems surrounding them start with how they look and feel. I had to decide to change for good, for real, for keeps. And I did. There’s lots of homework involved in my “rehab”. I constantly make new decisions, choices, quash beliefs that are given to people by other people, find out what truly makes me happy, filter, shuffle, move forward. It’s ongoing. It’s fun!
Nerd up and get reading
One of my favourite books in the whole wide world is Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, I felt like such a hippie buying years ago but it really has some lovely, uplifting stuff to help you “heal your life”.
Another super book, introduced to me by my lovely Man, is The Life You Were Born To Live by Dan Millman
In my lifetime, I’ve read snippets/watched videos of the guru on limiting beliefs Tony Robbins, so if this topic appeals to you then I suggest you check out his books and website for more info.
I’m never going to tell people one book changed my life, it’s like choosing your favourite food- impossible, however it’s the collection of these self help type books/gurus that allows you to pick and choose what information you will use and take with you to help you through your life.
Thank you, thank you. Care to share a few of your limiting beliefs?